Mothers who know do less.
from 2007 Relief Society Broadcast
Before getting laid-off, Cory angelically installed a dishwasher to buy me an hour a day. He was right, I don't feel as perpetually distressed as before, but experimentation has proven that I have at least one too many things still on my plate right now.
One major item has been my schooling. I transferred to the Academy of Art University almost eighteen months ago, intending to get my BFA in Traditional Illustration online, very slowly. It's funny. Before I had children, I finished my two-year degree in two years. Two school years-so less than two calendar years. As a mother, I've just chipped into my classes. I e-mailed my counselor this week, and discovered that the first two years for a BFA are identical to the requirements for the AA, and I would not (according to her) be penalized for taking a break after finishing the AA and before moving onto the BFA.
New goal: Get an AA in Traditional Illustration. Continuing at my current rate of 4 classes a year, I would graduate three years from August, just before Miriam begins Kindergarten. Then Illustration could take backseat as a hobby/service ability, until I went back for my BFA, which would probably be when my children were in high school or beyond.
Other issue: I love, love the K12 curriculum. I love, love the idea of homeschooling. But I'm so busy with Kaith's curriculum, even when I short-cut lessons, that I don't give Miriam and Sterling the kind of nurturing they deserve. Or have time for my school. So today I asked Kaith (before explaining alternatives) if he wanted Mom to be his teacher next year. He said, "No. I want to go away to school, like Dad does." Hmmm. I asked Trevor about it, too. Trevor said he wants to be in a classroom full of other five year olds. I felt pretty tender. I'm not sure if it was more the idea of having my children leave daily, or the loss of the K12 history, art, and phonics lessons we won't get to do next year.
New goal (practical, if still a little painful): let Kaith and Trevor go brick-and-mortar while I finish my AA. Perhaps by the time I'm done, they'll be ready to come back home and have Mom be their teacher again.
5 comments:
Big decisions need big prayers and maybe the Lord is answering yours in a less than expected way but isn't that the way He works? Here's to brick and mortar - it hasn't seem to hold any of us back. And as for art and other things they will not have there? They have you.
Bold decisions...life is all about balancing things, hopefully these choices will help you find an even keel.
There is a time and a place for everything. Kaith and Trevor have had their time at home. Now they can spend some time with others while their siblings get to know mom better. We can only do so much ourselves.
Brave decisions, brave! We want to be everything to our children and protect them all we can, and yet that isn't always the best way according to the Lord.
"Advance, and never halt, for advancing is perfection. Advance and do not fear the thorns in the path, for they draw only corrupt blood."
This is a great quote from Kahlil Gibran but it might as well be from your Grandpa Hanna. Keep going girl!!
(ps the word verification for this post today is "honing"...very appropriate ;)
Thanks for your support, everyone! I think I'll contact people tomorrow to see about transferring Kaith in (or out) for the final quarter of Kindergarten. The idea feels restful
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